This is a guest post by Tom from BuildThatList.com. See how you can guest post on Teenius here.
How many times have you been told, ‘You can’t do that!’ or ‘It cannot be done!’
As entrepreneurs and creative people, we are constantly pushing the boundaries – sometimes maybe too far.
In our minds, our goals are achievable, or plan is possible and our success – imminent. However, those around us may not see the same potential that we do.
This could be due to lack of knowledge, or it may just be that they have a different mindset. Either way, we are always going to come across people in our lives that will try to tell us that our dreams are impossible!
How We React Will Tell Us How Much We Believe In What We Are Chasing!
Let’s take a closer look at a couple of possible responses to ‘You can’t do that!’
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Doubt
If you start to question yourself when someone tells you what you are trying to achieve is impossible, then maybe you yourself do not believe that you can do it! This doesn’t mean what you are doing is unattainable, it just means that maybe you should take some time to consider whether you are heading in the right direction.
As soon as you are certain, back yourself and chase your dream!
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Defensive
However, maybe you would be more inclined to reply with ‘who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do?‘
I find that when people jump on the defensive, it usually means that the are either insecure or immature (or both).The insecure person’s reaction is usually derived from lack of confidence, whereas the immature becomes defensive because they get offended that someone has challenged their dreams.
Both insecurity and immaturity provide a hurdle for you to overcome, and have the ability to stop you from achieving your dreams.
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Confidence
When you know what you want and are willing to do what it takes to achieve that goal you are chasing, then a certain confidence comes over you. While you still make the decision to ignore the negative comments of those around you – you are not defensive. Instead, you realise that people will always have their opinions , but you believe in your goal and that is all that matters.
So How Much Do You Believe In Yourself?
Are you ready to back yourself when you face opposition and criticism?
If you are pursuing something then you are bound to attract criticism. How you handle that criticism should show you not only how much you believe in your dream, but also how much you believe in yourself.
So how would you respond to ‘You can do that!’?
 Tom is the founder of BuildThatList, a blog where he shares loads about building, nurturing and profiting from your email list. You can subscribe to the BuildThatList dot Com Feed to be updated regularly and make sure you download his free squeeze pages. |
i believe that my tech site will be as big as Tech Crunch and Mashable one day. I just need the drive to do it. Great post
Ed´s last blog ..Crap Cleaner Makes Your Computer Less Crappy
That is great Ed! What are you doing to make sure that this happens?
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
That is really great Ed…to achieve big you have to think big….
i just want to be a good and successful blogger…
someone who people think of immediately whenever they think of blogger or blogging
IndianCashMaker´s last blog ..The Quality of Your Content is Decreasing, Dude!!
Hey Tom! When I tell people what I want to do, the tend to doubt me and tell me why it won’t work. Most of the time it’s because they tried it and it didn’t work for them. When this happens, it’s so hard for me to take that criticism without defending myself. I know I have a lot to learn and it’s nice to be reminded that I need to be grounded.
See you around!
It is so hard to not get defensive isn’t it Nick! That is one of the reasons that pretty much none of my family or friends (apart from direct family), know about what I am doing with my blogs – I just don’t want to explain it to them.
I think the key is to just focus on what you know is right for you – and what people say won’t even matter.
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
I’d just like to quickly thank Tom for the guest post! It’s an awesome article that I think all bloggers can learn from, and it’s a pleasure to read/publish.
Thanks Simon! It was a pleasure writing for your readers
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
For me…. I’m pretty optimistic about myself… always
Liane´s last blog ..Let’s Be Brutally Honest
That is a great character trait to have Liane! I know a lot of bloggers would love to be able to stay positive when face with criticism.
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
Hi Tom. You are everywhere with your guest posts
If it weren’t my believe in myself, I would not have been online anymore.
Not even my Mom believed I could make it. She preferred to say “keep learning for High school” and later on… “get a real job” .lol
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I had the same experience with my parents. They would get so frustrated that I was doing all this work online for the little profit I was making at the time, and thought I was just wasting my time. And as I find it hard to focus on one thing they also thought it was just going to be a passing fad.
However, being 3 years on and I have stuck to it, and am finally starting to reap the rewards (albeit not as much as I am aiming for) – they are now really supportive of my work online.
Stick it out, cause you are doing awesome!
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
I definitely struggle with this working online. My family etc. ask me if I’m going to get a ‘real job’ and so on. I must admit I don’t have the confidence in myself when it comes to facing those outside influences. But in a different way, it does create a real desire to want to prove to them that I am successful, which in some way helps to push me further.
Ruth – Web Career Girl´s last blog ..Recovering From Time Off – But Didn’t I Use My Time Off To Recover??
Ruth that is exactly it. Instead of trying to defend yourself with your words, use their doubt as fuel to prove them wrong with your actions.
Obviously you shouldn’t make your main goal to prove them wrong (it should be to do what you love and make a living from it), but we can always use some extra fuel from time to time!
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
As usual, great post Tom! There is so much truth to apply here.
I love this statement: “If you are pursuing something then you are bound to attract criticism. How you handle that criticism should show you not only how much you believe in your dream, but also how much you believe in yourself.”
Maybe I will start stealing your ideas so that I can apply them on my blog.
Keivn M.´s last blog ..Any monkey can blog, right?
Glad you liked it! I’d be honoured if you stole the concept
Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists
Great post Tom. Webmasters definitely need to have a thick skin because so many people don’t even think of the Internet as an income source. I find though, that the fact that few people think making an income on the web is possible motivates me even more.
Jake | Web Journey´s last blog ..Creating and Selling an Online Product the Chris Pearson Way
That is a great way of thinking about it Jake. Less competition = more profit!
If you don’t know how to take action, believing will be irrelevant. However, if you believ in yourself and know what actions to take and take them, then it is very likely that you will achieve the things that you wanted to achieve. It doesn’t how many time you fail on the way.
Adam @ Selling Manager Ebay´s last blog ..Selling Software On EBay
Tom your Post made me thinking. I think lately I have been a little defensive and low of confidence.
Thankfully to you, I realize and would improve.
Agent Deepak´s last blog ..Interview with James Richmond – The InfoPreneur
It’s especially difficult with NO support from those closest to us…one must really believe and push through the negativity.
Dennis Edell´s last blog ..$100 – 10 Winners – Comment Contest! ‘Till Months End…
Let’s think big in order to make it big..
Nice article Tom.. love’d it..!
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This is really a nice post about believing ourselves.I must say that you have covered major factors for it like doubt,defensive and confidence.I completely agree with this whole post.I think that to be confident is more important.In this way you can believe in your self.
Thanks for this Post Tom
The internet is a abundant abode to be anonymous, but if you are, no one will feel a affiliation to you and wish to accumulate visiting your blog. Just be yourself, don’t pretend to be anyone you’re not, and people will love you for it. I promise.
Dev | Technshare´s last blog ..SEO – 20 ways to build backlinks
I enjoyed the article. You should truly believe in yourself. I know it’s easily said but it’s harder to actually do it. But I think over time you will get there.
It would be hard for me to work on my blog daily if I didn’t believe that it might become well-known one day.
Thanks for the inspirational post, I think it’s important for bloggers to stay motivated and positive because you always have to wonder if people are reading what you’re writing
Great post, I am one of those people that believe anyone can achieve and do anything they put their mind to.
Anyways, when someone tells me “You can’t do that” then my adrenaline gets pumping and It makes me want to do it just to prove them that I can, so pretty much I get motivated and want to successfully complete the task.
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I just need to put all foolishness aside, and really say what I feel! This was a very helpful post!!!! Thank you so much!
Tom definitely wrote a great post!
Well Tom you nailed it down! It all starts with the belief in oneself. If you do not believe in yourself …forget about it. It will lead you only to failure. As well there are always people around who try to make you smaller.. they are the ones telling you that you cannot do this or do that. That it will be a failure or whatever they try to tell you that it will not work. Just do not listen to them!!! You are the one who will make it go right or not!! I get so annoyed by people trying to tell me that it cannot be done.
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This is definitely a great post. Very interesting, and hopefully many people will read this article. They could get some important ideas in here, just like I did this day.
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Janin, Thanks!